sexual assault

You did nothing wrong. The idea someone "asks for" something they don't want, something that they experience as a violation, is a trope that I wish would go the way of the dodo bird. Understand, I'm not upset with you for saying that; I'm upset with the culture that sends messages that make you...

I'm so sorry that you've found yourself in what sounds like some big time bad-news dynamics. There are some things where not being in agreement isn't a big deal, or is problematic, but not massive. However, having conflict about sex and reproduction like this, especially if one person refuses to...

I think you just said two things you could tell him right there. "I am very uneasy about this," or "I am very uneasy about this because I have been sexually abused." Whichever you feel most comfortable with, both of those things are fine things to say, things I think we should be able to say with...

I'm so sorry that this is how you have been feeling about yourself, and that you're hurting so badly and feeling so fearful of yourself. I'm beyond sorry to hear that you hate yourself. Those are all terrible, debilitating ways for someone to feel. But I'm very glad that you've asked me for help...

Anarchofemme's question continued: So, to get to the point, do you know of any strategies feminist groups have used to make issues of sexual violence more accessible to those not already familiar with them? Would it help to focus on issues of gender and bring sexual violence in later as part of the...

I would not, and cannot, give you advice on how to feel differently than you do, or on how to hide your feelings. Instead, I would only -- and could only, in good conscience -- advise you NOT continue to be intimate with this person again and ideally not to stay in a relationship with this person at...

Good question! I wish I had an answer to give you as succinct and simple as your question. The answer is that it depends. Many countries have age of consent (AOC) laws that are federal, or the same throughout a whole nation, so it just depends then on what country you're in. If you're not in one of...

Whether a person is having issues with trust due to sexual abuse or any other reason under the sun, I really like how Staci Haines, in The Survivor's Guide to Sex, concisely outlines three basic factors for trust. She talks about competency, consistency over time, and congruency between words and...

HurtandUsed's question continued He then went and put his hands down my pants and started touching me there. I wanted to say no, but I couldn't because I was afraid he would get mad or break up with me. He then went and grabbed my hand and put my hand down his pants. I pulled my hand away but he...

Sara continues: ...At first I was reading all sorts of tantra books and preparing myself for wonderful sexual experiences, but then the guys around me started taking advantage of my blossoming sexuality, and my first mostly committed relationship was to a guy who told me years later that he had been...