Advice

Could rubbing my vulva with his penis have gotten me pregnant?

anonymous
Question

My boyfriend and I had sex and after he finished the condom slipped and was still inside me but not completely (an inch of the opening didn't go in so I didn't panic all that much). He put his penis back in his briefs for about 3-5 minutes and I took it back out to rub against my clit for 2 minutes. I didn't put it inside or on the vagina opening but just on the surface and sides of the clitoris area. Would this put me at risk for pregnancy?

It's been almost a week and there are no signs of symptoms except that I was supposed to have my period about a week ago. Now I'm noticing an odd odor from vaginal discharge. So far I'm not bloated or show any signs of having my period soon. Please help, thank you.

ANY direct genital contact that is unprotected ALWAYS puts you at a potential risk of pregnancy⁠ (when your partner⁠ has the genitals⁠ that could co-create one) and sexually transmitted infections⁠ .

The vulva⁠ is a wet place, and sexual⁠ fluids like ejaculate and pre-ejaculate⁠ are also just that, fluid. What sperm⁠ need to move in, so they can get to your uterus⁠ , is a sexual fluid. So, when your partner rubs his penis⁠ on your vulva -- not just inserts it into your vagina⁠ -- if he either has any semen⁠ (the fluid which contains sperm) on his penis, or emits any sexual fluid (potentially including pre-ejaculate, which neither of you is likely to feel), then sperm have the capacity to slide down or around parts of your vulva to get inside your vagina.

Does that kind of contact create as substantial a pregnancy risk as vaginal intercourse⁠ ? Not usually, no. But it still presents a risk, and how big that risk is has more to do with your fertility⁠ cycle than with how close to the vaginal opening⁠ a partner's penis was placed.

And with sexually transmitted infections, the same goes per any infection⁠ that fluid may carry, as well as with infections that don't even need fluids to be transmitted, like genital Herpes⁠ or HPV⁠ .

Since you have both a late period⁠ and are also noticing unusual discharge⁠ , the best thing for you to do would be to get both a pregnancy test⁠ and a full STI⁠ screening. Since you and your partner have had unprotected genital contact, he should be having those screenings as well. What you don't want to do is wait around for "signs" of pregnancy or an STI. With pregnancy, sparing a missed period, most symptoms don't happen very early on, and if you are pregnant, you'll always want to know as soon as possible so that you have the time you need to make whatever choice you'd want to about whether or not to continue or terminate that pregnancy. With STIs, most don't show obvious symptoms, so you never want to wait for those to get screened: all sexually active⁠ people -- even those who are NOT having unprotected genital contact -- need those screenings every year, symptoms or not.

And from here on out⁠ , you want to be sure that if you do not wish to become pregnant, you are not having direct genital or fluid contact without always using a reliable method of birth control⁠ , like condoms or a hormonal method like the birth control pill. In terms of sexually transmitted infections, before having unprotected contact, the only way any two partners can reliably reduce risks is to start with one full STI screening for both, then both be monogamous⁠ for six months, use latex barriers for genital contact for that whole six months, then have one more full screening each -- with negative results -- before going without those barriers.

Here are some more links to help you and your boyfriend out:

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Yes, there are health risks associated with ingesting or being exposed to menses, because this is both fluid sharing and also blood sharing, even though menses is more than just blood.

Overall, what you're looking at are the risks associated with unprotected -- without a latex barrier like a condom…